Picking up girls is an art form. Some people are savants, born with the charisma and charm oozing from every pore. Some are grinders, playing the numbers game and hustling for every notch. Maybe you’re born with it, maybe it’s Maybelline. But not everyone who gets laid is a good wingman. I’ll admit that I’m not the best wingman. I love taking guys under my wing and teaching them how they can improve themselves to get girls. But i’m 6’2 and as LaidNYC would say, i’m devilishly handsome as well. So my advice doesn’t always gel with people who don’t share my white privilege.
But I have served pussy on a platter on a few occasions that I’ll document here.
Pussy on a platter, scene 1:
The setting: a popping nightclub in my home town.
The Players: My original wing Kumar and I are out, dressed sharp as hell but we couldn’t be more different. He’s from the bay area, indian, 5’9. I’m from SoCal, 6’2, white.
Act 1: We approach a two set on the patio while I’m smoking. An Asian girl and a light skinned brown girl (Persian maybe?)
The Asian hooks on me, the Persian is being kind of a debbie downer. I think she was a bit to drunk and being a party pooper so my boy kinda wanders off. I pull my girl to the dance floor, bumping and grinding, pull her in for the make out and we keep dancing. 10 minutes later we go back outside for fresh air. I work in weed to the conversation and let her know I have some in my car. So we walk out of the club to go smoke. Outside I see my boy Kumar. he’s waiting for me cuz his key’s are in my car and he was about to cab it home for the night. I tell him to walk with us and we’ll get them and he can bounce.
We start to walk away when an idea hits me.
“hey would does your girl smoke?” I ask the Asian.
“oh man she would love to”
“go get her and we’ll go to Kumar’s and blaze he lives right on the beach”
She doesn’t have her phone with her so I give her mine and tell her to go find her friend.
She comes back 10 minutes later with her friend in tow and we all roll.
Act 2: We get to the house, smoke a little bit and I decide to take my girl for a walk on the beach. We get downstairs and she says its cold and we should just go in my car. So we get in the back seat and she won’t let me fuck her for the life of me. Meh. I get her to suck my dick and blow in her mouth, life is good.
We go back upstairs and crash on the couch.
Next morning I drive both of them back to their car and they go on their way.
Conclusion: This is where the story gets good. In my texting with my girl the following days I find out the Kumar’s girl HAS A FIANCE. That’s why she was so down at the club they had been having drama. My girl is kind of embarrassed that her friend fucked my friend.
ENGAGED CHICK FUCKS MY FRIEND AND SINGLE CHICK ONLY BLOWS ME. Girls are fucked up. I tell my friend he’s welcome since he was just going to go home and play video games until I handed him pussy.
Pussy on a platter scene 2:
The Setting: I have a date lined up with a 19 year old from Okcupid. Get her number, turn the convo sexual like I always do, she’s begging for my dick before she’s even met me.
The Players: My little brother and I. My lil bro had just broken up with his live in GF after she proposed to him while crying. Not a pretty site. He gets the hell out of there and has been crashing on my couch for a bit. My girl says she’s hanging out with her friend and asks if I have a cute friend for her friend. I say yes and we swap pics. I send her a few of my lil bro and she sends me some of her friend. Her friend is a bit cuter than her hahaha.
Act 1: They come over, I pour drinks and we all get to the chit chat. After about 10 minutes I pull my girl outside to smoke so we can isolate the two couples. After the cig I pick my girl up, carry her upstairs and we do our thing. Wake up in the morning and repeat business. My little bro does his thing on our couch. Much fun was had by all.
Conclusion: That was the only night I saw my girl. We had made plans a few times but she lived kinda far and worked nights so our schedules just never lined up. I find out a few weeks later that my bro has been seeing her friend about twice a week consistently. Good for him, he’s a little player in the making and i’m happy he has a hottie to get his rocks off in.
The best part was the look on my bro’s face everytime we talk about them. “dude my girl is way hotter than yours why’d you let me have her”
“dude you needed it, you’re fucking welcome”
“you’re the man sploosh”
And that my friends is how you serve pussy on a platter to your boys.
Stay tuned for my wingman tips post coming soon.