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Setting My Bitch Shield Lasers to Stun

Published January 2, 2014 in Game - 8 Comments

Short field report from Saturday night.

Went to my backyard locals. My good friend and wing who i’ll call Handy is with me.  Normal night for us, have some drinks, talk to some girls, not much is going. Its the holiday’s and as we all know the seasonal nature of pussy I wasn’t to bummed about the way the night was heading.  The amount of 8’s at the bar is slim to none. I’ve stopped feeling any desire to approach unless she is 8 or above.  So I’m resigned to go home alone. No biggie.

Last call rolls around.  2 am.  Thanks CA.  Food truck outside the bar. See a guy i used to play basketball against in high school. We catch up a bit, he’s got a girlie hanging off him. Obviously they’re about to hook up for the night. Just shooting the shit with him and his girl when I mentioned that my new pad is literally right behind them and we should go smoke.


So the girl he’s macking on we’ll call Skinny Minny. Her friend Flannel and Glasses are around the area too.

Skinny Minny says her single friends want to come too. 

I go talk to her friends for a bit. they were talking to some other dudes, didn’t matter. 

Glasses is the first one i saw so i approach and tell her the situation. She puts her bitch shield up over 9000.  Asking me why they should come with me, who am i, why do i make her feel like i’m a douchebag, she calls me pretty then says she doesn’t like how cocky I am. 

All of this in a span of 3 minutes where I was basically just trying to herd the group from the parking lot to my pad. 

I know she’s into me or she wouldn’t be shit testing so hard.

I finally just say ok are you done? let’s go. and start walking across the street to my pad.

My boy Handy swoops in to start winging for me.  I can hear him trying to settle her nervousness or whatever.  It takes at least 4 more minutes of them all talking as a group before my old basketball friend just gives his girl and piggyback ride and starts walking over. (atta boy, game recognized) 

So to make a long story short, we finally get everyone in my pad. Theres 3 girls i’ve never met, me, my boys Handy and Giraffe, and this new guy who I find out later had just met Flannel that night and hitched along. (should have got rid of him right away but I assumed he was with one of the girls, wrong.)

So right away i’m just trying to calm the drunk bitches down. It’s almost 3 am now and they’re stoppping up and down, being loud and drunk like most bitches. And Glasses still has her bitch shield as high as it can go.

Still testing me, calling me a douchebag, then saying i’m pretty again then all other kinds of drunk girl ramblings. 

They subtle ways of trying to get her to calm down aren’t working so finally I put my foot down

“look, i’ve invited you into my house and you’re still being a bitch. It was funny at first but it’s time to drop the act.  You’re in my house, start showing some respect.”

This gets her on the defensive.

“oh I was just joking because I thought you could take it, what’s the matter can’t take a little joke/”

this set me off.

“Once or twice is a joke, you’ve been calling me a cocky douchebag for 20 minutes now. It’s not a joke. Calling me pretty 3 times doesn’t make it ok to continually insult me. So you can drop the bitch and be nice or you can get the fuck out of my house”

Her gf’s sense the disturbance in the force and are quick to jump in and defend her. “oh no she was just kidding she’s a super nice person.” blah blah blah blah.

So I set my bitch lasers to stun.

“you guys can say she’s the nicest person in the world and i’m sure sometimes she is. But right now I’m basing my opinion off of her actions and she is acting like a massive bitch. So either start being nice or theres the door”

So i start to ignore her after that. just turned my back and started playing with my cat. She kinda looks over to her gfs for validation like wtf just happened.

Handy goes up to her and says something like ya you definitely  need to apologize. She says some bs about how she didn’t do anything wrong. they go back in forth for a bit.

Finally she relents and asks me to look at her. She grabs my arm and tries to get me to make eye contact which I purposefully avoid.  She’s going on about how she’s not normally a bitch but I’m so pretty that she’s sorry I couldn’t take her joking around.

I snapped back at her again

“that’s a bullshit apology. You’re sorry that I couldn’t take your jokes? those weren’t jokes they were straight up insults. “

Something have finally clicked for her cuz she instantly dropped the shield and had me sit on her lap. Actually apologized for how she was acting.  Her friends point out the “irony” of the situation since i was just yelling at her.

Start putting the feelers out to see if she’d stay over. She turns me down at every corner with her words while her body is screaming at her to say yes.

Long story short she ends up leaving with Flannel and the other dude who came. Dude goes home alone and the girls leave together.

I come to find out from Handy that bitch shield 9000 lady has a fiance. Everything starts to make perfect sense.

He told me that he overheared them saying “what are we going to do if we go over there Glasses has a fiance” right after I had walked away while we were still in the parking lot.

It all makes sense. Glasses was out for a night out with Skinny Minny and Flannel. Her single friend Minny finds a cute dude to go home with so Minny lies about Glasses being single so she can get her man. She’s a complete bitch to me because she’s trying her hardest to blow herself out because she hates that a “douchebag’ like me is giving her some many ‘gina tingles.

So the moral of this story is: I need to record audio of all my nights out because this paraphrasing shit that happened when i’m drunk or buzzed is not as easy as you’d think. I feel like what I actually said to her drunk ass in the moment was much more effective than it comes across almost a week later writing it down. 

I’ll have to consult with Handy to verify the accuracy of my timeline.

Either way.  Don’t be afraid to put a bitch in her place.  Standing up for yourself is always more satisfying than folding just to get your dick wet. 

Sploosh out


Captain Crunk - January 3, 2014 Reply

Haha good shit. I sarged with Handy before and bitched a girl out like that when I was with him.

This girl, who I will call alcoholic, invited Handy and I back to her place. She had a fat fuck friend with her. We went back and alcoholic had a shit load of weed which I proceeded to smoke. I was the one that opened alcoholic but it seemed like Handy was going to get her. Alcoholic was trying to get me together with her fat fuck friend but I wasn’t interested so I was just chilling on her couch and browsing /r/funny. Then alcoholic starts getting an attitude calling me names and shit. Just crossing the line. So I get up and tell her off then leave. Was satisfying. Don’t let a bitch degrade you like that.

    Jsploosh - January 3, 2014 Reply

    For being such an asshole to girls, handy is an amazing wingman.

Keanu - January 4, 2014 Reply

This whole situation could have been avoided easily if she just states that she has a fiancé. Or then would you not have brought them back to your place?

If I knew my girl was out and NOT MENTIONING that she had a fiancé (hypothetical), I would strongly consider dropping her. Red Flag. A girl marrying an alpha who she is head-over-heels for would work that information into the conversation within the first 30 minutes.

I think that should be a rule–the 30 minute boyfriend rule. If it takes longer than that for a girl to mention her bf…purposeful or not, you as a boyfriend aren’t really at the forefront of her mind. In which case…a ‘next’ might be a wise move. Harsh but true.

    Jsploosh - January 7, 2014 Reply

    I like the rule. Might have to include it in my how to train your women book.

    Lately I’ve been stealing Danny’s line and asking them where their bf is. Might as well find out if there’s a goalie or not right away.

Keanu - January 7, 2014 Reply

Friend of mine has coined a similar pickup line, delivered with a clutch smirk, of course: “Do you have a boyfriend I can beat up?”

Haha “How to train your woman.” Not a bad new spin on an already thoroughly covered topic (pickup)

    Jsploosh - January 7, 2014 Reply

    There’s a lot of coverage for picking them up. I haven’t seen too many for how to actually train her to become the perfect woman once you’ve picked her up.

    I’ve never been a huge fan of ONS’s. Plus i love the movie how to train your dragon so it’s a fitting connection.

SwedishRedPill - February 17, 2014 Reply

Slapping down bad behavior is probably the most important skill a man can learn when it comes to dealing with women, and that skill isn’t mastered until one can also recognize and deal with bullshit apologies.

I remember a girl I was working on bedding last year; she was bitching and attempting mind games on me. She was subtle at first, and my bitch detector didn’t go off as soon as it should have done, but eventually it did.

I called her out for it. I told her that I knew exactly what she was doing, and that I wasn’t having it. First she denied it, but it wasn’t even a sincere denial. I called bullshit on it, upon which she challenged me:

“What are you going to do about it?”

I replied “I’m going to give you a choice; you either stop it right the fuck now, or I leave.”

Her answer: “Perhaps you should leave then.”

And I did. Didn’t say a word.

Five minutes later she called me on my phone and sounded as if she was about to cry. She asked “Does this mean that we’re done? No more us?”

I explained to her that she’d pissed me off royally, and that if I was to give her another chance, she’d better be *very* sweet and contrite.

She promised as much and finished with “Please, just come back to me…”

It’s so very amusing when a girl does a one-eighty after having been put in her place.

She did try to give a bullshit excuse when we met up again, but my anti-bitch-artillery was online and primed, and I instantly called her out for it. She couldn’t look me in the eyes after that and was very sweet indeed.

Derrick Mills - November 10, 2014 Reply

Nice story.

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