Short field report from Saturday night.
Went to my backyard locals. My good friend and wing who i’ll call Handy is with me. Normal night for us, have some drinks, talk to some girls, not much is going. Its the holiday’s and as we all know the seasonal nature of pussy I wasn’t to bummed about the way the night was heading. The amount of 8’s at the bar is slim to none. I’ve stopped feeling any desire to approach unless she is 8 or above. So I’m resigned to go home alone. No biggie.
Last call rolls around. 2 am. Thanks CA. Food truck outside the bar. See a guy i used to play basketball against in high school. We catch up a bit, he’s got a girlie hanging off him. Obviously they’re about to hook up for the night. Just shooting the shit with him and his girl when I mentioned that my new pad is literally right behind them and we should go smoke.
So the girl he’s macking on we’ll call Skinny Minny. Her friend Flannel and Glasses are around the area too.
Skinny Minny says her single friends want to come too.
I go talk to her friends for a bit. they were talking to some other dudes, didn’t matter.
Glasses is the first one i saw so i approach and tell her the situation. She puts her bitch shield up over 9000. Asking me why they should come with me, who am i, why do i make her feel like i’m a douchebag, she calls me pretty then says she doesn’t like how cocky I am.
All of this in a span of 3 minutes where I was basically just trying to herd the group from the parking lot to my pad.
I know she’s into me or she wouldn’t be shit testing so hard.
I finally just say ok are you done? let’s go. and start walking across the street to my pad.
My boy Handy swoops in to start winging for me. I can hear him trying to settle her nervousness or whatever. It takes at least 4 more minutes of them all talking as a group before my old basketball friend just gives his girl and piggyback ride and starts walking over. (atta boy, game recognized)
So to make a long story short, we finally get everyone in my pad. Theres 3 girls i’ve never met, me, my boys Handy and Giraffe, and this new guy who I find out later had just met Flannel that night and hitched along. (should have got rid of him right away but I assumed he was with one of the girls, wrong.)
So right away i’m just trying to calm the drunk bitches down. It’s almost 3 am now and they’re stoppping up and down, being loud and drunk like most bitches. And Glasses still has her bitch shield as high as it can go.
Still testing me, calling me a douchebag, then saying i’m pretty again then all other kinds of drunk girl ramblings.
They subtle ways of trying to get her to calm down aren’t working so finally I put my foot down
“look, i’ve invited you into my house and you’re still being a bitch. It was funny at first but it’s time to drop the act. You’re in my house, start showing some respect.”
This gets her on the defensive.
“oh I was just joking because I thought you could take it, what’s the matter can’t take a little joke/”
this set me off.
“Once or twice is a joke, you’ve been calling me a cocky douchebag for 20 minutes now. It’s not a joke. Calling me pretty 3 times doesn’t make it ok to continually insult me. So you can drop the bitch and be nice or you can get the fuck out of my house”
Her gf’s sense the disturbance in the force and are quick to jump in and defend her. “oh no she was just kidding she’s a super nice person.” blah blah blah blah.
So I set my bitch lasers to stun.
“you guys can say she’s the nicest person in the world and i’m sure sometimes she is. But right now I’m basing my opinion off of her actions and she is acting like a massive bitch. So either start being nice or theres the door”
So i start to ignore her after that. just turned my back and started playing with my cat. She kinda looks over to her gfs for validation like wtf just happened.
Handy goes up to her and says something like ya you definitely need to apologize. She says some bs about how she didn’t do anything wrong. they go back in forth for a bit.
Finally she relents and asks me to look at her. She grabs my arm and tries to get me to make eye contact which I purposefully avoid. She’s going on about how she’s not normally a bitch but I’m so pretty that she’s sorry I couldn’t take her joking around.
I snapped back at her again
“that’s a bullshit apology. You’re sorry that I couldn’t take your jokes? those weren’t jokes they were straight up insults. “
Something have finally clicked for her cuz she instantly dropped the shield and had me sit on her lap. Actually apologized for how she was acting. Her friends point out the “irony” of the situation since i was just yelling at her.
Start putting the feelers out to see if she’d stay over. She turns me down at every corner with her words while her body is screaming at her to say yes.
Long story short she ends up leaving with Flannel and the other dude who came. Dude goes home alone and the girls leave together.
I come to find out from Handy that bitch shield 9000 lady has a fiance. Everything starts to make perfect sense.
He told me that he overheared them saying “what are we going to do if we go over there Glasses has a fiance” right after I had walked away while we were still in the parking lot.
It all makes sense. Glasses was out for a night out with Skinny Minny and Flannel. Her single friend Minny finds a cute dude to go home with so Minny lies about Glasses being single so she can get her man. She’s a complete bitch to me because she’s trying her hardest to blow herself out because she hates that a “douchebag’ like me is giving her some many ‘gina tingles.
So the moral of this story is: I need to record audio of all my nights out because this paraphrasing shit that happened when i’m drunk or buzzed is not as easy as you’d think. I feel like what I actually said to her drunk ass in the moment was much more effective than it comes across almost a week later writing it down.
I’ll have to consult with Handy to verify the accuracy of my timeline.
Either way. Don’t be afraid to put a bitch in her place. Standing up for yourself is always more satisfying than folding just to get your dick wet.